a rant about you...

why do i do this to myself?

why am i letting this happen?

i'm beginning to see....

i know for a fact....

i'm definitely sure you don't....

but still i hold on.

i still hold on to something

that is not meant to be

... never was and never will

quiet moments are not always good

sometimes i wonder... why do i even try?

actually it's just recently that i even started asking myself that question. 

i've been so good blocking it off and not even remotely thinking about it.

i thought i was content with everything.

and then i go on vacation. 

i don't know if the whole thing was a blessing or not, but it definitely removed me from my routines. my comfort zone.

i was out of my element. 

coming back made it even worse. 

sitting in my room by myself was no longer peaceful and serene. the silence was deafening. kind of like a the sound you hear when a pin drops and the "ping"-ing sound goes on and on and on...

it never stops....

and then suddenly you realize how lonely you really are.